I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
