lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize