My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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