Just mADE A PArabola og urine
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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