Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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