Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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