just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
