I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
