My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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