Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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