white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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