If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
