Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
