Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
