I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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