You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
