i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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