girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
