that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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