He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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