Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
