Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
