You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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