The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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