dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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