hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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