Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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