sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
