Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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