Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
