I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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