The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize