Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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