I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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