Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
