Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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