I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
