that's an acceptable place to lick
honey bunches of taint.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
