And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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