Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
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He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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