Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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