She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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