so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
