Just fell off a train. Bad.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're like the curious george of whores
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize