I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
