I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
