guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
