Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
