he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
