Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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