I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
