drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
