Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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