He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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