dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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