Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
