I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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