The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
