You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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